Love Was Never Enough

On the fifty-fifth day after my fiancée blocked me, I canceled the wedding I'd waited eight years for. She was still at a mountain abbey with her childhood friend, helping him heal from his depression. She'd had Havenlight Abbey, which never went a day without visitors, closed for six full months. Meanwhile, because she'd vanished without a word, reporters hounded me until I had no home left to go back to. With no other choice, I went to Havenlight Abbey to find her. She sent me back down the mountain, saying I couldn't disturb the peace of a holy place. In the dead of winter, I collapsed at the foot of the mountain and nearly died. When I came to, I saw Claire planting a whole field of roses, the flower of love, with her own hands on that holy ground. Six months later, she finally came down the mountain and brought her childhood friend home with her. She filled the home we were supposed to share with the roses they'd planted together. I watched in silence. She had no idea I was about to marry someone else. Chapter 1 I was picking out wedding rings when I ran into Claire Foster for the first time in six months. The sales associate kept gushing about the ring on my finger, but I didn't hear a word. I could only stare at Claire, my mind somewhere else entirely. She noticed the ring, walked over, and asked flatly, "Why'd you come on your own? I was going to surprise you." That was what she said. But the shopping bag in her hand held the newest gaming console. It wasn't for me. It was for Noah Young. Yesterday, when the two of them came home, I'd overheard Noah sweet-talking her, saying he wanted the latest console for his birthday this year. And Claire had made his wish come true that fast. Of course she had. Whatever Noah asked for, she'd make it happen, no matter what it took. Not like me. All I'd ever wanted was a wedding, and I'd waited eight years without getting one. So this time, Claire, I'm done waiting for you. I stepped a little farther away from her, quietly slipped off the ring, and asked the associate to box it up. Claire immediately pulled out her card to pay for me. Before I could explain anything to the associate, I noticed the rosary around her wrist. Yesterday, when Noah announced his comeback to show business, one of the photos in his photo carousel had been of that exact rosary. It didn't match the rest of the pictures at all. But someone recognized it as a design sold only at Havenlight Abbey. Within hours, "Havenlight Abbey Closed for Six Months" and "Who Owns the Rosary?" were both trending. Paparazzi had even caught video of Noah and Claire coming down the mountain. Claire's face never showed, but her custom-made dress and the 9999 vanity plate on her car said everything. Everyone was congratulating Noah on landing a wealthy heiress. I was the only one who'd become a complete joke. I pulled myself back to the present and stopped the associate before she could run the card. "Don't. I was only trying it on. I'm not buying it." Claire kept her eyes on her phone and answered absently, "Just buy it. I'm free this afternoon. We can go get the marriage license." The marriage license? To her, marrying me was just another box to check. But I didn't need that kind of love anymore. I didn't answer. I just walked out of the store. Claire followed me, clearly annoyed by what I'd just done. "Are you mad at me over Noah again? I told you, the wedding's still on. I'm only looking after him for his mother's sake." That part was true. Noah was the son of Claire's mother's best friend. After Noah's mother, Diane, passed away, Claire, a few years older than him, had taken on the job of looking after him. Noah was always calling her his big sister, but the way he looked at her was full of love. I knew Claire understood all of it. She was only playing dumb. And I was nothing but the tool she used to deflect gossip and protect Noah. Chapter 2 I looked up at her and answered calmly, "Okay. Got it." Claire, I'm done acting in this love triangle. My wedding really is still on. The bride just isn't you anymore. Hearing my lukewarm answer, Claire started lecturing me, irritated. "I'm busy every single day. I don't have time to cater to your moods. If you don't want to get married, then don't. Let's just cancel the wedding." With that, she left me alone at the mall and drove herself home. What she didn't know was that the wedding really had been canceled. And I really didn't want to marry her anymore. I opened my phone. Our chat still ended in a red exclamation mark indicating the message failed. I tried sending another message. Red icon again. She hadn't even unblocked me. How could she talk about marrying me? In the past, I would've talked myself into trying harder, into winning her back. But I was done lying to myself. Her heart had never been with me. I was about to call a ride home when I got a call from Rachel Moore, the woman I was actually going to marry. She asked me to meet her at a new café. When she saw my empty hands, she asked, puzzled, "You didn't get the rings?" I smiled helplessly. "Nothing felt right." She suddenly pulled out a ring box and set it in front of me. "I brought these back from France. I wasn't sure you'd like them, so I never had the nerve to show you." I opened it. Inside was a pair of carefully designed matching wedding bands. The men's ring was engraved with my name, the women's with hers. When the two rings were fitted together, their cutouts formed a heart. It was a love meant for me and me alone—something I'd never had before. I was so moved I nearly cried. I was about to slip the ring on to show her how grateful I was when Claire called. "Hey, where are you? I'll send the driver to pick you up so we can get the license." After the scene we'd just had, she could still talk about getting the license with me. She was sure I'd forgive her. Before, whenever we clashed, she always went for the silent treatment first. But within half a day, we'd make up. Mostly because I caved. I caved so far that I let Noah come on our dates. I let the passenger seat carry a "Noah's Seat" sticker. I let the car fill up with his figurines. Everything Claire wore, ate, and used was picked out by Noah. There wasn't a trace of me left on her. And even that wasn't enough for Noah. Once, just because Claire was in a meeting and didn't answer his call, he jumped from the second floor of the house and broke his leg. When Claire found out, she walked away from a deal worth tens of millions and rushed back to be with him. Then she blamed it all on me—just because I hadn't dropped everything to go look after Noah. She demanded I apologize to him. When I refused, she berated me for a full day and night, then made me kneel outside Noah's hospital room and repent before she'd forgive me and go through with the wedding. Otherwise, she said, we were over. I loved her too much back then. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. So I agreed. But love shouldn't be ground down like that. Once someone's been hurt enough, they leave. Thinking back on all of it, I smiled bitterly to myself. I hung up without a word, put the ring back in its box, said goodbye to Rachel, and headed home. But the moment I reached the curb, Claire's driver pulled up in front of me. Claire rolled down the rear window and eyed what I was holding. "What did you just buy?" I was afraid she'd see the ring box. Chapter 3 I put my hand behind my back and walked around to her side of the car to get in. I couldn't tell whether Claire had noticed something. She looked at the tote and the white paper bag in my hands. "I thought I just saw a blue box in your hand. What was it?" "You saw wrong." I turned toward the window, trying to figure out how to get out of going for the license with her. Before I could think it through, a phone call cut in. Noah's scream came through the speaker. "Claire, I think someone's following me!" Claire went on alert instantly. "Don't be scared, kiddo. Where are you? I'm coming right now." The panic in her eyes reminded me of the time Noah tried to kill himself. Back then, he'd found out I was about to get engaged to Claire. He'd cried, made a scene, and confessed his feelings to her, and she'd turned him down. So he did something drastic. Claire regretted it bitterly, but our wedding date was already set. All she could do was take twice as much care of him. She demanded I answer Noah's calls twenty-four hours a day, in case he couldn't reach her and came looking for me. Once, I was in a meeting and missed his call, and Claire was on a plane with her phone off. Noah tried to take his own life again at home. Because of that, Claire blocked me and took Noah to Havenlight Abbey to heal—without a single thought for our wedding date, which was just around the corner. Claire always sacrificed what mattered to me to give someone else what they wanted. So was this what those devout people called mercy? Her so-called mercy came down to one thing: she was sure I'd never leave. Sure I couldn't live without her. But this time, I would. The driver got us to Noah as fast as he could. Noah was crouched by the roadside like a pitiful little puppy. But there wasn't another soul around. The second Noah saw Claire, he threw himself into her arms. I caught the smug smile on his face and knew he'd done it on purpose. He must have found out Claire was planning to get the license with me, so he'd set out to get in the way. I found it laughable. If he knew I was about to marry someone else, he'd probably feel pretty ridiculous himself. Noah leaned pitifully against Claire, sobbing about the creep who'd followed him. Claire comforted him as she helped him into the car. Only when she turned around did she see me. She paused, hesitated for a moment, then said, "Get yourself home." And she left. We were in the middle of nowhere. Where was I supposed to catch a ride? I let out a short, humorless laugh and had no choice but to call Rachel for help. Not long after I got home, I heard hurried footsteps on the stairs. Claire seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when she saw me. She stood in the doorway, a little apologetic. "Sorry. There was so much going on this afternoon, and we never went for the license like I promised." I'd thought it was just something she'd said in passing. I hadn't expected her to bring up the license again. I slipped the finished wedding invitations into my bag. "It's fine," I said offhandedly. Seeing I wasn't going to blame her, she came over, satisfied, and leaned into my arms. In the past, as long as I did as I was told, she'd be this gentle with me. She wanted me to be understanding and obedient, while she let another man act out however he pleased. I dodged her touch and bent down to clear out the cabinet. Claire froze for a second, then said suddenly, "Why don't we go get the license tomorrow? I'll push back my work." It was rare for her to bend for me. I bit back a cold laugh. "No. I'm meeting Ben tomorrow to give him an invitation to my wedding." At that, Claire's expression finally relaxed. Chapter 4 What she didn't know was that my wedding no longer had anything to do with her. The next morning, I woke up and went downstairs for breakfast. The moment I reached the dining room, I saw Noah was sitting far too close to Claire, nearly pressed against her side. She was coaxing and pleading with him to eat. First he complained that the egg whites smelled funny, then that the yolks would make him fat. Claire didn't get the least bit annoyed. She cut fruit into bite-size pieces and fed them into his mouth. The young man's soft lips deliberately brushed her fingers. She pulled away with a straight face, but the tips of her ears went red. I watched them flirt, completely unmoved. Noah finally noticed me and teased, "You look really nice today. Not going on a date, are you?" Before I could answer, Claire set the fruit plate back on the table and said, a little sternly, "Stop talking nonsense. He's your future brother-in-law." Even knowing Claire and I were engaged, Noah had always refused to call me that. He thought that would keep a line between Claire and me. Claire had never corrected him. She just let him do what he liked. Come to think of it, this was the first time she'd ever corrected how he addressed me. I only shrugged. "It's fine. He's young. He can say whatever he wants." That was a line Claire used to feed me all the time: Noah's young, so nothing he says or does is wrong. Right. I was the one in the wrong—blind enough to love her for all those years. My words left Claire speechless. She stopped feeding Noah and sat down next to me instead. "I pushed back my morning meeting. Whatever time you're leaving, I can drive you." Noah started whining, about to kick up another fuss, but one sharp glare from Claire shut him up instantly. So she could rein him in. She knew exactly when he was acting out. She just didn't want to—didn't have the heart to. But what good was reining him in now? I no longer cared. After breakfast, I had Claire drop me off at the café owned by my childhood friend, Ben. Ben lit up when he saw me and pulled me into a hug. He hadn't expected to see Claire. "What's she doing here?" Ben had never had much patience for her. I explained, "She was free this morning, so she gave me a lift." "Wow. I thought the great Ms. Foster only had time to babysit that little celebrity. Dragging around a boy that much younger every day—if you want to be nice about it, you call it her saintly compassion. If you don't, well, who knows if some people are just creeps." Ben always said exactly what he thought, and Claire couldn't hide how humiliated she was. Displeased, she turned to lecture me instead. "Ethan, I don't care who you're friends with normally. But for the wedding, you should invite people who know how to behave, or it'll embarrass the Foster family. And it'll scare Noah." From the look of it, the only part she actually cared about was the last line. "It's my wedding. I decide who gets invited." I took a steadying breath and cut her lecture short. Then I pressed the invitation into Ben's hand. Claire snatched it away, furious. "Ethan! Why are you being so immature? What do you mean, your wedding? Your wedding is with me—" The next second, she saw the bride's name on the invitation and froze where she stood.